In 2008, at the end of a team retro, I handed out 3×5 cards and asked each person for at least one good thing and one bad thing about me. Honestly. Brutally. They looked at me funny. Then they asked for more cards.

34 comments came back. The most common:

Good

• You don’t inflict change.
• You hear our concerns and adapt. You don’t force us to do it by the book.
• You explained the philosophy instead of telling us to just do it.

Bad

• You talk too fast and cram in too much.
• You sometimes try so hard to help that you step on people’s toes.

I wrote it all down and challenged others to try it themselves.

Almost 20 years later and I recently stumbled across my writings when looking for something else. All 5 are still true. The positives held. As do the negatives. I still talk too fast, and I still sometimes step in and act when I should have more patience with the people I’m trying to help.

Those years of experience did not fix them. It taught me to notice them faster, sometimes mid-sentence. That’s progress.

The lesson I took in 2008 was that it takes guts to ask. But the durable part is that a handful of colleagues, in 90 seconds each, gave me something to stay mindful of. Honest feedback from people who work next to you every day has a shelf life you would not believe.

“No matter the circumstances you can always improve. You can always start improving with yourself. You can always start improving today.” – Kent Beck

I’m glad past me wrote it down where present me would trip over it.